For far too long we’ve wasted far too much time on trying to keep the rest of the United Kingdom happy. Everyone knows you can eat like a king on 30p a day, so if you’re struggling to make ends meet then you just don’t know how to budget. I don’t know what part of England it thinks it represents, but I don’t see my life reflected on any of its programmes. As soon as the Albanians see TV pictures of their compatriots getting blown to pieces they’ll stop making the crossing. So all men should be made to have short hair, while women’s hair must come down at least below their ears.
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